Sunday, December 25, 2011

Love? Like? Or perhaps just a feeling of appreciation?

Lately, I've been thinking alot. Well, actually, I've always been thinking alot. Only that what I'm thinking only makes things even complicated that it is were.

It has been 2 months(?). 2 months since I've meet her. 12 months since I meet her and 4 years since I've meet her. 6 years ago, I meet this girl and we talk. 12 years ago, we meet.

6 girls that affect my life.

I don't really know what makes me feels like this..
Surely...someday I'll fall in love with someone....
Or...
I'm confuse. Do I like her..? Or do I love her? Or perhaps only a feeling of appreciation...

Time will tell.
I hope so.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Nuisance

People around you are constantly educates you will new knowledge. Be grateful that they even have the thought of sharing their piece of mind. But what did you do..?
You ignored them completely.
You complain.
You raise your voice.
You stand your ground.
For being stupid.
Let's be clear, I'm good enough not to directly confront you, if I would I don't think that you even have the chance to debate about it. Your attitude sucks, your heart is full of dirt. You won't stop taking advantage of your own friends. Have I even ask your assistance? Even once..? No. I don't think so. Yet you just keep bugging me around that not even houseflies do.

-Your entire existence is just another vexation in my life-

Sunday, October 16, 2011

The kind of Human traits

I won't say that it's his/her fault to be self-centered. I won't blame him/her for being an asshole. I'll just pity their friends, if they have any.
I'm a man, who can accept anyone easily, but sadly, I can't really reject someone.
Being a FRIEND is like, having a new family member. You don't just go and ruin it all by being a jerk. Who care if you're the eldest in your real family, who cares if you're the only son, when your in a new friend circle, don't try to act all high and mighty when you aren't at all.



-Fuck off S.O.B, go find another place to bark the shit out of you-

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Assiduous and it's remuneration

Some people had in their mind, thinking that working harder will at least make them smarter. I'm talking about studies, if you know what I meant.
Ah...yes..the word 'study' sure digs up all sort of complain to certain types of people, I can say so myself.
Let's cut to the chase, no matter how hard you study, it just wouldn't cut it, and in my own honest opinion, some of you would agree to this. There is approximately 900 pages in a textbook and only 5~6 pages in Finals Test. They would probably pick out 3~5 chapter of the 30 chapter that we are suppose to work our brains out.

To wrap things up, I did, diligently tried my best.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

The king without a throne

I wouldn't want to brag but...a few months back, I went a a Siamese temple in penang. That temple is famous for it's fortune telling. I twist the clock and it landed on a number which determines my fate for life. After that, I took my number and showed it to the monk. He explain this to me
"Young man, you are a special person. Very few have god gave them this number for that this number only belongs to those who have a dark future. But you are different. God have set a unchangeable destiny for people that no matter how they struggle, fate will always find them.
Listen to me young man, only a few have this and you are one of the very lucky ones. God has allowed you, an extraordinary soul, to set his own destiny and to create his own fate. And remember this, in every darkest moment, that is where you shine the brightest"

The words shook me.
And from that day onwards, I did not blame god for any difficulties I face. All I can do, is face them like a man, and a man, is what I wanted to be.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Last Resort

Am I just someone that exist in the small corner in your life?
Am I just someone that people can that use and dispose off?
Am I, just a someone in this world that just die off and no one will really notice?




-Regards of what will happen, someone will never abandon, that is what true friendship is-

Saturday, July 23, 2011

All ends in misery

I'm done, I don't care about my dream and future anymore. All I can do for now is just live. Live without a purpose, because a purpose cost a fortune, and that is what I lack. Sorry but, I'm just a shitty guy.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Poker faces

I take up violin, and people started to second guess whether I am really into violin. That was 2 years ago, now I'm still playing violin like everyday.

I took part in singing competition, because I like it, and I wont hide it the fact that I'm actually good. But these days, if you don't look good, you're shit in everything. Yeah, that's right. Today, the quote Don't judge the book by it's cover is totally the opposite.

People these days are just to materialistic, they don't care about what they like or what they can do, all they care is good looks, good fortune and etcs. I also won't deny that I do care about good looks, only that because it affects my scores in life. People often looked down on me because of my figure and trust me, I don't look easy in the face. Which is why most people won't even talk to me.

It's just sad to say this but, I can't survive in a society that lives on lies and fake emotion, poker faces on each people I know. It's just sad.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Hope, fall apart.

I was like, so going to be myself again, but it's not going to happen too soon. Many people are like pouring cold water at me, they're not responsive, every time i tried to talk to them, the entire conversation stop with a 'Oo.' or even 'Okay.' What the hell? Hey I am trying to become who I used to be, a happy go lucky dude with no worries and here yet you guys just ignore me. Hell man.....Hell.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Love, Despair

To fall in love is the most wonderful thing that ever happen to me. I was on cloud 9, no much higher than that. I was among the stars that glitter brightly in the night void. I was like the moon, but all that change. When I know, that I was wrong. Not only I made a dreadful mistake, I ended up breaking the friendship bond. Right now, I can't even have a look at her. I'm poignant, yet in the same time at livid state. I like her, but in the same time, felt disgust of her.

How can love turn into something like this...?

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Solitude

Being alone is not much of a problem.
Not until when I had friends. Thats is when everything went wrong.
Being alone is a problem now.
I can't stand the loneliness.
I can't hang on without them.
I put my life on the line for them.
But from what I can see with my very own eyes.
I don't exist in their memories.

Being alone is now okay for me, cause now I know.

"To be forgotten is worst than death"
-FFIX Freya The dragon knight-

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Road of life

That I had once said to myself, care for others, then care for yourself.
Although that was what I though other would think the same. But now I see, not all humans think like that. All and what they care is for themselves. It may be important to care for your own well being before you could take care of others but what will you do if you are taking care of yourself in the same time, causing a mess for others?
Do you not think that way?
Do you even try to think for a second that the person that you ignore take your place?
Will you feel what they feel when you did NOT did anything for them? Or perhaps even causing them to feel bad?
From my point of view, most of us don't think that way.
You say you care of others, but one simple act speaks way louder then the words you spoke. You think that things goes on without you being involve or not. You think that the more you ignore the lesser trouble you'll get yourself into.
You think that letting thing the way it does and not even want to have a guts to try to fix things, that YOUR own life would be better. THAT is exactly what you think. I know, cause I'm once thought of the same way. I thought that if I can just leave things the way there are they wont get bad. But I was dreadfully wrong. If I don't move, no one will. If I didn't help put, NO one will. In the end, I am always the one who did the things no one could ever thought off. Simple acts could bring a whole world down because of one small chain reaction it started. Things will always make a turn of the worst, and most of the time, I would take the blame. I won't mind if and only if I was the one who ended up breaking things. But still, if I were to think like others and ignore the smallest things, I will be like digging my own grave.
In the end, I have to do it, because no one will.
Thats all.


-For you, who always being arrogant and ignorance-

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Choices

We are making them everyday, every minutes, every second in our mind whether to determine which path to walk on. No one said that choices are hard to make, but only the doubt in your hard that stated that. Life goes on, no matter what choice you make, of course there will be a better over the other choices that you made but still, life goes on, whether or not it will wait for you to make that choice. No one is that to make you choose, we can only help you decide and influence you to make choices, in the end, the one who take the pick is still you. I'm not here to frighten you to pick your path, I'm here just to say that, no matter what path you made, stick to it, and don't look back. You made that choice and you walk. Path is not something that we can just imitate others. Yes, surely you can follow others people paths. Imagine that in a forest of undiscovered lands. Each step you took will create a path behind you, it may be tough and harsh but you will know when it is good for you. Walking someone else's path will not only make you a fool, but also a stupid person who will never learn anything from life. Finally is it whether up to you to choose your steps and to create your own path. Walk the path of life and be proud of it. Meeting obstacle is always a common thing, that is when you must, alter your steps. Obstacles such as, dreams, wants and finally the most powerful influence any human can never withstand, Love. Alter your steps and walk together with her. That would be made clear, you will walk together.



-In remembrance of my best friend-
Choose wisely, no matter what the outcome will be, I am here, as will be, always will be.

Monday, May 2, 2011

3th May 2011

Several days after the dreadful night in a Oxford house, I finally moved into my new home. It's nice, it's cozy, it's cool, it's warm and it doesn't not have internet for the moment. Thats how I wasn't able to update myself these days. Okay, now since I'm at the McD, I got this McD Coca Cola can glass meal which coast rm 15. A normal meal cost 7.95.....Such expensive..Meh anyway 2days to go to my next exam which is cell Biology the paper that is known to kill many Bio course related student.

Monday, April 25, 2011

25th April 2011

2nd night in Lance's house. Feels a little awkward not staying in my own house. But meh~~ As long as things goes well, I'll be moving into my new home at harvard.

I finally able to say the only negative word that causes benefits , NO.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Friday, April 22, 2011

23th April 2011

Always remember on what you do will effect the future. Think two steps ahead is very effective.

I promise, I swear I will never ever lie to you ever again.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

20th April 2011

It was a crazy afternoon....I have a tough time walking now. My muscles aches all over but hey, it wasn't as bad as the first day I went to the gym. At least I manage to show him I can do it.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Your hands

It's a story I wrote. Enjoy~
[Links Here]

19th April 2011

Sometimes....maybe, I just don't like how the world is right now. I have this strong urge to change it, to modify it a little. But what I'm trying to do is just to satisfy myself, to get what I want. Just like people, I tell myself I can change people bad habits, but what about my own? Who can change me? This is not something I can do alone. Like how the wind guide the yacht to move, only if the yacht is willing to retrieve the anchor, it can move. I am, without an anchor, I'll change but I fear it's is not a good change.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

17th April 2011

Last night was fun, but I had better night, crazier..... Argh..makes me wanna puke just to think of it.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Diary page 9 April 16th 2011

The say bird of the same feather flocks together. But why I saw a coal black pigeon still fly along with snow white ones?
Perhaps you and I have the same interest and those thing that we both love keeps us together.


At McD....watching the rain...it's getting bigger and bigger..
*bluaaa* A kid tripped over right in front of me.
'Hey kid, you okay?'
'Wuaaaa, you made me fall...' (in Malay)

His parent come, 'You buat apa huh?'
I kept quiet and looked away. I was holding a tray with my BigMac on it.
'I was just walking to get sauce sir.'
'Tipu, budak ni Kurang ajar! You name apa?'

I place my tray down. Looked up at him and said 'Fuck off, your kid is the one knock on to me. Don't believe it? Go and watch the CCTV up there. If I was really the one knock him down purposely then you can sue me with all rite removed.'

He kept quiet and walks away with dissatisfaction written all over his fucking fat face. The kid was around 8 or 9 years old. When i was that age I already figure out how black holes form. I guess certain people of certain races are just slow in maturing, both physically and mentally.

Oh well, back to Cell Biology : Vesicular trafficking from ER to Golgi apparatus

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Diary Page 8 April 15th 2011

I'd trusted you, but why don't you trust me..?
Perhaps, I am what I'm looked like?
A fat guy...
Nobody likes a fat guy as a friend.
I understand, I always understand.

April 14 2011

I don't consider my friend as a tool. I never consider anyone as a mere tool. I never, not once, in my life, make use of a friend as a tool to make myself famous. I only think of you when I meet trouble, of course, if you think that I'm too undependable, you can always tell me. I don't mind the critiques, I will change that thought throughly. Don't ever dare try to think that I'm befriending you just because of your wealth or name.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Diary page 6 April 13th 2011

Sore all over my body. Nothing should be said more, let's just sleep.....Helll, it's only 9am, going to school!

After schooling......(3pm)
We had a little chat about what kind of girls I had, what kind of girl I like best and bla bla bla bla which took almost 2 whole hours.


Evening.......(7pm)
Pasar malam....din buy food but got this awesome glasses. And then we went dota....which I shouldn't be because I have LAB TEST TOMORROW!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Diary page 5 April 12th 2011

Argh....4am...? *hits the snooze button*
Argh.........7am.....*aw shit*
I'm suppose to be in McD studying for today's Lab test. Which was supposed to be 3 hours ago...bleh.
*continues to read*

Later after the Lab test....(2pm):
T^T sure fail in Lab test.......

Later 5pm:
In Gym....so many people here...I wonder may be because there are beach model training cat walk in the gym...anyway I'm not interested in just a pretty face.

After doing some serious thinking, it would seems that religious effect the way how our mind thinks. I consider myself as a free religion. I believe in God, not Islamic god, not Jesus Christ, not the Holy one, not the Almighty one, None of them. (Buddha is not a god, he is a man.) . What I believe is the creator, the one who sits higher then God itself, the one who creates the universe, and I fucking hate him now. I hate how he left us behind, leaving us with no solid warning about the Apocalypse. Even I believe it and I tried to change the world, a one man army is no army my friend. That is why I began to change the world, slowly, one story at a time, hoping that if I manage to survive this wave of chaos, the future generation will lead the contaminated world into a better place.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Diary page 4, April 11th 2011

Would you steal a visor-less, buckle-less, worn-out, 10 years-old, smelly HELMET!?
Yup.....you know what it means. It means that the thief is 10 years old.

Crap...Hungry and Hungry.



WoOoOoooo hu! I loving it! No not McD...
I'm gonna mooooove!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

How my morning begans

'Pi pi! Pipi! Pi Pi!....'
The song from my mobile phone rang, going on and on, signaling it's already 8am. Breaking the silence of the early sleepy morning, I would just let the alarm just go on and on until I got fed up. Each morning was the same, the cold sensation creeps up each muscles fiber in my body like a soft electric shot into me. Sometimes, and most of the time, I wouldn't be in my own room, the only differences is that, I would be sleeping on the floor or a small mattress. Alas, the same thought would trigger into my mind, what am I going to do today to change the world?

Dairy page 3 Date 10th April 2011

Boring.....? Yup, the verb says what I did this 24 hours ago.... Boring....Why? Simple. Money not enough! Who ever says that money is not everything, I feel like pointing my middle finger at him and say 'Hey dude, FUCK OFF!'

I manage to 'korek' my piggy bank and collected about Rm13, went to a restaurant and convert it to paper money. Well, at least 4 pack of Cintan mee could last me a few more days.

Sigh....I want to study. I want to score A, but really in my heart, I just want to pass so that I can please my parents. But then again, I might end up being looked down by the public....

Got to find a new room ASAP...or else, you'll see me sleeping by the road side.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Diary Page 2, Date April 9th 2011

Is the truth really hurts? Is that why people choose to listen to lie? Why is it that people would believe a lie then the truth? Every time when I speak of the truth, they will only say I'm lying. Why is it that when all my action speak of what I think, people will only think of the action but not think of why I did it.

I don't really like dota, I only play it as a mere tool for communication between new found friend and getting closer to them. Either way, I suck at it.

It's 0846 now, I'll be heading to school. Though I really fight the urge to crawl back into my comfy little bed. Meh, as long as I can talk to her, I can do anything..
Just as long as I can see her....
Wanna know who this girl is? Kay, I'll tell you...soon XD

Diary page 1, Date April 8, 2011.

After another hellish week, it’s finally Friday. And you know what that means? Actually, it meant nothing. See normal teenagers like myself often go out at night, meeting up with friends, talk till it’s midnight , or maybe even visit the most popular cyber cafe in Westlake (PS. A station). Well, previous semester, I wasn’t that kind of teenager, until I meet (which is currently) my bestest buds. We do crazy stuff sometimes (almost everyday) but out of the shitiest stuff we did, I like each and every one of it.
I don’t know what has gotten into to me last week, I knew my wallet left Rm100 buck (need to last for at least 3 weeks), yet I spent 20 on A station, lots more on McD breakfast and some on meals(quite a lot). And now, thanks to one of my friend (hint: detective), I manage to drag in a few bucks in the wallet. But still it’s still another 2 weeks more…….How am I going to survive? It’s sure is a pain in the ass when you’re broke. Whoever said that money make the world go round, I’m totally at his side right now.
Studies? Meh…Forget about education, screw chemistry, anotomy and whatever political shit that comes out, I’ll beat the shit out of ya.
Last minute entry.....
I lost him, at dota, but I win him at everything else (excluding financial management)

Today.....

Pass few years, I've been trying to improve myself a bit and.....well, you can say I manage to gain a few experiences but for me, it's still far from complete. Some people might think that my life is near- perfect, while some think that I'm a worthless guy. All I can do is just share this story of me, and how I began to realize that life is not just about passing final exam and get girlfriend.
This is my story, and my name is Skeeter Lau